Monday, August 9, 2010

Dear Jonathan

Well, we certainly had an emotion filled day yesterday.  You spoke at Church and stood up in front of our Congregation and told them that you only had less than a year to live.  When Pastor Ron gave you the stage, he quickly came back and sat down beside me so I would feel safe and secure and you shared what was going on in our lives.

I can only imagine how difficult that was for you.  You choked up a few times, made some funny cracks, which helped lighten things up a bit, but most of all you spoke from your heart about your passion, your Mens Ministry and how with a very heavy heart you were going to have to close the doors of your practice.

My heart is breaking for you right now.

You also had the courage to stand up in front of everyone and publicly apologize to me for trying to push me away from you for the past year for selfish reasons.  You didn't want to see me suffer and go through the pain and sorrow of losing you.  I whole heartedly accept your apology and love you even more than I did yesterday.

Todays lesson: Learning to live in the moment.  I keep saying I'm trying to learn to live in the moment, I'm working on it, I don't get it, I don't understand how to get there.  You just mentioned that if I change my wording it would help me get there.

So your suggestion has been this: "I choose to fully live in the moment, letting go of my past, and leaving my future in the hands of God."

So much to learn, so little time, but apparently just enough time in God's eyes.  His timing is perfect.  I have to trust that.

1 comment:

  1. hello Christine!

    I just want to tell you how deeply your blog touches me. I wish you both the strengh and power you need in this time, and I am sure that your believe in God will be rewarded. I feel it is such a pure trust and I am sure He will keep you save in his hands, always.

    *hugs* Alex